Body Positivity

I want women to embrace who they are, feel amazing in their own skin and happy about themselves. When I was in LA, living in a model apartment, I met this amazing girl named Sophia Cosettex. She is this beautiful plus size woman who expressed the problems she had encountered being her size. The more we hung out, the more she educated me on this topic. She helped me  have a much better understanding of what issues a plus size woman struggles through, whether it was how she felt when growing up as a child or on a daily basis. Although I will never 100 percent understand what it feels like to be a plus size woman, I think all women struggle through some of the same insecurities. No matter your shape or size, there will always be people that will judge you. 

As a naturally thin woman, I also have felt insecure about my body. My body fluctuates in weight a decent amount depending on my daily schedule.  People don’t always understand that being told you’re too thin could be just as offensive and hurtful as being told you’re too big. I believe as long as a woman feels confident and healthy about themselves, it shouldn’t matter what size you are. I know in today’s society it is hard to fully feel 100 percent comfortable with yourself.. My wish is that more people who struggle with how they view their body can just accept that “as long as YOU feel happy and great about YOURSELF then fuck what anyone else thinks”. I say that but I also know the struggle. I still have trouble accepting my body and understanding that no matter what size I am not everyone is going to love what I look like. Everyone has different body types, personalities, and traits they think are attractive or they prefer.  If everyone were drawn to one body type, one character, or one look, then the world would be boring. I find comfort in thinking that is the reason everyone is different in some way.

I want anyone who is feeling insecure about themselves to try as hard as you can to stop worrying about what others think. As a young girl I continually overthought and took any comments people expressed about my body personally. I learned to quit caring and once I stopped giving fucks I felt so much more satisfied with myself. Whether you are super skinny, fit, plus or whatever you look like, learn to be happy with yourself. Because you must love and accept yourself before anyone else can. 

Life is confusing

I am a HUGE believer in when putting out positive energy; you will receive positive energy. As 2019 began, I told myself I have a great feeling about this year. I felt like modeling will finally take off, I will figure out other activities I love, finally meet a guy who isn’t a total dick. And channel those same passions, determination, and fire to both modeling other passions in life. I am the type of person when I want something I will work my ass off to get it. Although this year has been pretty amazing so far, there have been many downs. I try to be the friendliest most understanding person I can be and never potentially try to hurt anyone (I’d feel so bad if I did). I still manage to get screwed over by friends and men. It is honestly the worst when you think someone is a great friend and you find out they are not as great as you thought. I am always so confused about why this happens. For those times, I dropped everything when they needed me, or listened to them vent to me, and I still wonder how this happens. But I guess it is part of the growing process of life. Without the wounds and hard times you won’t learn.

As everybody knows, there are sooo many models to compete against. All beautiful women who want the same thing. Those jobs, that money, and maybe some even fame. As I’ve grown the fame does not matter to me, I personally want to make money and use that towards other passions of mine ( soon to figure out what they are). Whether it’s creating a brand or whatever else! Not only that but to thank my family for all the support they have given me. Unlike others, I am so grateful to have my family support my dreams and passions in life. I one day want to be that boss ass bitch to pay back my family for ALL the support and tell them I would not be here if it weren’t for them.

I always wonder why my passions and interests in life are so different than everyone else. I’m not sure about anyone else, but I ask myself what if I just went straight to college after high school as everyone else did. Would life be more straightforward if I had a regular 9-5 job at a corporate office? I see my little sister, who is 20, attending Baylor and interested in working as a PA. She seems to have a much more simple life. She has a plan, knows what she wants, a boyfriend, and has these steps to take to achieve them. As I am over here trying to figure out what I want to do after I finish college and what steps I will take to get there. I feel like a mess, a floater, and sometimes a disappointment. Although I am confused about life and don’t know what the fuck I am doing. The only thing I do know is that I want to be a boss ass bitch and an amazing woman.